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(3 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

[13 Jun 2007|10:16pm]

Name: chrissy
Years Dealing with Mom: 21
Location: detroit
Are you a parent?: never!
Biggest Mother Issue(s):

oh jeez...where do i even start...
my mother is an alcoholic, and has been since i was four. even before that, though, she was never exactly what you'd call nurturing. my father refuses to divorce her, even though he understands the gravity of her problem and how much it's fucked up his life, and the lives of my sister and me. i'm pretty sure he's just a coward.

but yeah..my mom. she gets drunk pretty much every night. if she has to work nights, she'll get home and binge drink to make up for the hours she had to stay sober. if for whatever reason she can't drink, she'll be anxious and cranky until she can.

she's just...mean. to my sister and i. she's also probably insane. like i think she could be institutionalized, no problem, if only my dad would sign the papers. she talks to herself constantly, and can't be alone, or sit in silence w/o freaking out. she never cleans the house, and she smokes inside and ashes all over the carpet. she complains about everything and everyone and always has to have her way. but if someone else wants something or suggests something or asks for something she'll scream at them and berate them. she smells and slurs and drools and is generally disgusting, obnoxious and embarrassing. i laugh it off, but my sister won't even bring people over.

she's not even like..a human. she's just like a drunk bot who lives in the same house as i do and who i have to do my best to avoid. i feel like a baby for complaining about it, even, but i don't have anyone who fully understands (except my sister, but she's been rendered like completely unemotional because she's never tried to stand against her environment).

but anyway, yeah, i'm really really glad this community exists. thanks for listening.

(Mommy Dearest)

Hi, a newbie here :) [28 May 2007|10:42pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]

Name: Veronica
Years Dealing with Mom (age): 22
Location: Poland
Are you a parent? No.
Biggest Mother Issue(s): *sigh* I don't even know where to start... Ok, so generally speaking it's about her swearing she loves me and cares, and me not seeing any non-verbal evidence of it, and not feeling supported by her ever in my life.


Something more on the subject ;)Collapse )

(2 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

Hi folks! [27 May 2007|07:42am]

Hello. Me: Male, English, fifty years old. Blue collar transport worker, highly paid specialist in my field. Political activist, regular churchgoer, married these last 10 years to a nurse, who also skipped promotion to become a highly paid specialist in *her* field.

My mother: Well, someone who never had the best cards dealt to her in life. She was born in 1930, and was 9 years old when WW2 happened. she got evacuatedto various folks who were indifferent and uncaring. She came from London and was sent north to escape the blitz. After the war, she went back to the seaside town she knew a ayoungster and met my dad in a dance hall. The rest is history... Read more...Collapse )

(2 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

PSYCH 411: Introduction to Psychology [19 Mar 2007|01:25am]

[ mood | awake ]

Name: Esme
Years Dealing with Mom (age): 27
Location: Canada
Are you a parent? No
Biggest Mother Issue(s): Weight, Work, Finances
Enter ->The study of human behavior.

(1 wire hanger | Mommy Dearest)

[18 Oct 2006|03:50pm]

Name: Krystal
Years Dealing with Mom (age): 23
Location: West Chester, PA
Are you a parent? nope, and I don't want to become one, either!
Biggest Mother Issue(s): My mother is an evangelical Protestant. I'm an atheist. She keeps pushing religion on me, which is why I limit contact with her. She's also a compulsive liar and took out two credit cards in my name when I was 18. She used to lie about me "taking out the car and putting X amount of miles on it" or would accuse me of being a slut in front of my father and other siblings. I remember getting reamed out once because I didn't turn the radio to the station she liked in the car. She also refused to let me attend any after prom parties with my dates, and drove around our town looking for me when I did go to one. She's batshit crazy.

I'm engaged right now. This is like my mother's biggest dream. Never mind that I've been published or that I put myself through college, my own accomplishments don't matter. I've heard her brag to friends that I can make an apple pie from scratch. While it's true, it's not exactly the best thing I've ever done!

My fiance and I want to plan our wedding. I ranted about her in weddingplans, which is how I ended up here. Basically, she wants me to have a family "white trash" wedding. She's pissed about decisions we've made. She's furious that we're excluding kids and that we aren't getting married "properly" in a church. I'm from NEPA. Most people there end up having their receptions at a fire station hall. Ry and I want to have it near where we live, or back at PSU. We have to do this so she and my white trash family don't ruin it or hijack the planning!

(2 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

Mom made Mother a bad word [12 Jul 2006|04:30pm]

[ mood | depressed ]

Hi all. I'm new. Here's my story in a nutshell.

Name: Kay

Years Dealing with Mom (age):29

Location: California

Are you a parent? not yet, but hopefully soon =)

Biggest Mother Issue(s): Nothing I do is ever good enough for Mom. After years of overt disappointment on her part, I finally ended all contact. It's been a year. Life has been good, since. Although I don't interact with the rest of my family because Mom is around them all the time, I have called my 17 year old, soon to be a Marine brother regularly, about 2 to 3 times a week. The conversations had always been comfortable. I thought all was well. He had a going away party, recently. I told him I wasn't going to be there, but wanted to make other plans to see him without my mother around. He was disappointed. Today, he sent me an email with an ultimatum that demands I attend a party where my mother will be present, otherwise he doesn't want to talk to me or see me anymore. I've already given up on my relationship with my mother. To me, she's dead. The same goes for most of the other people in my family. My brother, I'm not ready to let go of, yet. I really don't know what to do, at this point.

(1 wire hanger | Mommy Dearest)

[24 May 2006|03:46pm]

[ mood | shocked ]

My mom is in the beginning stages of menopause. She's been dressing sluttier and sluttier to feel younger and younger. I've told her plenty of times that she just keeps looking older with the clothes she dresses in but she doesn't grasp that.
Last tuesday I left for a college trip to New York (I live in West Virginia, by the way). I was excited and my mother dropped me off at 6am that morning, hugged me good-bye, and made a very strange point to say she loved me 50million times before I left to the bus.
I had a blast in New York and I was so excited to get back and show my mother the gifts I had gotten her and my new *real* Prada purse I had purchased. I was happy.
I got off the bus and looked around for the tracker but I spotted my car instead. I walk toward it and there is my father, shockingly. He never picks me up or anything...he is always busy, I suppose. I thought nothing of it (maybe mom was asleep) so I got in and we headed home. He asked how my trip was and if I was tired and such...just normal things that would be asked after a long trip. Then he asked if my mother had been acting odd lately and I told him no. Turns out that she had dropped me off at the college, put the kids on the bus for school, and by noon had packed all her shit and left.
We believe she left to live with my whore/drug-addicted/pregnant sister in South Carolina. It really makes me angry that she abandoned us like this. That she gave up her kids and the life she had to go and (seriously) whore around in a drugged up life far away. She has some nerve thinking that this new baby my sister is about to have can take our places. She has some nerve to just up and leave us alone with no mother.
Now I am the mother to these three kids and it really makes me mad. I'm only 19 years old! To beat it all, I don't even want to have children and suddenly I have three. It's like suddenly she died...she won't be back...and I have to take all of her duties. At least when she was here I helped her around the house...I don't get any help!
I am truly motherless

(2 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

Bitch! [22 Mar 2006|05:54am]

[ mood | 3rd shift sucks! ]

Hey guys sorry I havn't writin in here for awhile! Me and Shane (my boyfriend) found a house and we have been doin alot of paperwork and all that so that we can get moved in and get closed on it and everything! I am excited!

Anyways my mom is so immature. I lost my drivers lisence and I needed my Birth Certificate to get a new one. Well guess who had my birth certificate. Isn't that convienient how much trouble I have to go through just to get MY OWN birth certificate! She said she didn't have it then called shane and said "well I have her birth certificate but she has to give me back my soup cooking pot before she can have it" OH MY GOD can she just fuckin grow up? Give me a break! She can be so stupid. Oh I also went and got my tattoo on monday it is a rose with 2 horseshoes around it with an agel wing on both sides! I gave my self angel wingd to set my self free of the hurt I go through everyday b/c of mom and the rose is b/c that is me and moms favorite flower! It was an emotionall experience! Talk to ya'll later!

Hope your all doing ok! Keep Smilin!

Love Always - Amie

(4 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

New! This is my story! [03 Mar 2006|06:55am]

[ mood | I work 3rd shift! Tiring! ]

Hi - My name is Amie I am 18 years old, and I live in Ohio. My best friend told me about this motherless daughter live journal and I figured I would give it a shot every little bit helps!

Although I have to tell you my story is a little different than most of everyones on here! It is different in the manner that my mother unlike most of the stories I have read on here today is still living this very day, in this very moment. So it makes a little more sense let me explain and here is my story.

I had the perfect life great family, great friends, the perfect job working for my dads electrical buisness, a farm on 11 acres, the love of my life, but the best thing of all was I wasn't missing anything in life I WAS the girl who had it all. Yeah we had our tipical family issues and arguments but regaurdless I still had the perfect life! My dads buisness had been going for about 2 years when it happened. The 2 year company picinc was coming up and me and my best friend Jessi were cooridinating it. We had a Hawaiian theme picked out, had the invitations made and sent out, it was going to be a blast! Jessi's Grandpa had been sick with cancer and was not doing so well. I grew up right next door to jessi, her mom, grama, and grampa, oh sister to. His sickness was growing worse every day. We knew his time was coming. But we cherished every day. But that will fall into play later in in the story!

Me and my mom worked in the office for my dads company, we ran it out of the basement of our home. It was just a small company, but it had grew quit a bit over 2 years and Shrigley Electric, LLC was a well known name around several nearby cities. After time the company started interfearing with the family life but we tryed not to let it get to us. Sometimes it was hard. My dad was always in the basement or out on a job, his nerves were about shot, and me and my sister brea who is 12 started becoming dependant on each other for things like: when she needed help with homework she would not go to mom or dad anymore b/c they would just stress out, and I went to her just for some human contact and someone calm to associate with. Things needless to say were getting a little out of hand!

Then it started one of the men who my dad had hired early on (steve) hurt his back and was no longer able to work out in the field with a tool belt on, so he was put in the basement to bid jobs and do the work my dad did not have time for. Things got a little better after that the stress level went down and there was not so much on my dads back. We all grew fond of steve and I began to call him uncle steve! He is a really caring man... I thought! Everyday Me, mom, and steve, sometimes dad would go to PJ's for lunch. Steve would eat dinner at the house most nights, his kids and brea became the best of friends, and everthing was going well. Then I noticed it, mom leaving for hours at a time to go to the bank, not downstairs hardly at all, she was my best friend and talked to me about everthing and I would go days without talking to her. What did I do I thought, did I say something wrong, why won't she talk to me I wish I knew. It was killing me b/c I just couldn't figure it out and I know my mom like the back of my hand and that is why it bothered me so much. Then it clicked in my head why when mom leaves does steve find somewhere to go? Why is she spending so much time away, and why is steve practicaly living here?

By now I am guessing you have figured out what the ending of the story is but it is how it ended that is the shocker.

It was made into a joke that mom was messing around with steve, a joke between me, my boyfriend (shane), jessi and a few other people. She knew about the joke she laughed at it and joked back. But yet we were still stupid enough to just think it was a joke! Well it wasn't a joke the night it happened!

There was a bachlor/Bachlorett party for a couple that me and shane are good frinds with! We were invited, and steve is also friends with the bachlor, and of course mom went b/c I went! Go figure they were both there mom and steve both! Still didn't think nuthin about it. I know what your thinking whats wrong with me but its my mom I didn't want to see what was going on! Then it was revealed.

Jessi was there to and you know we all were just having a good time and being sociable when I noticed I hadn't seen mom........or...steve for awhile! I said jessi where did mom and steve go? She was like I don't know lets go find them! So I walked around the back of the house to find my mother who I thought was my best friend and steve who I looked up to for being such a great guy! Yes I caught my mom CHEATING on my father!!! OH I forgot to mention that was the day after Jessi's Granpa had passed away and the day before the compnay picnic! How convenient!

Why me? Why out of 50 people at the party did I have to catch them! My own mother married to my dad for 14 years! What was she thinking? So that is how I am a motherless daughter! I have no respect for my mother and she still to this day blames me for what happened! It has been almost 8 months since then and I have nightmares about it every night! It is the hardest thing I have ever done! I am only 18 I need my mother in life but I don't want her in my life! What she did was wrong and decietful and I will never forgive her for it!

This is my story, and there are many more to come about the aftermath of ther whole situation so until then Stay strong I know its hrd but that is what we are all here to write about right!

Love Always - Amie

current mood: I get angry talking about her
current music: Upbeat Country!

(3 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

I want to chuck my cell phone into Puget Sound [28 Feb 2006|01:11pm]

[ mood | annoyed ]

ooh, it's time for a mom rant.

I moved to Seattle in September of last year to be with a guy that I had fallen in love with. Neither of my parents thought it was a good idea but I really didn't care. Who would be happy living less than a mile from two aging parents that have significantly different ideas on how you should be living your life? They reluctantly said goodbye to me and made me promise to stay in touch.

And I have... I'm very good about calling once or twice a week and talking for an hour. I write occasional letters and send photos of things going on in my life. Then, arrives last Thursday.

I had the day off work and used it wisely. I walked over to the University of Washington's campus to gather some information about getting enrolled in the school. On my rainy walk home I called my father and passed along the information that I had picked up. I told him I didn't want to talk to mom because she would ask a bajillion questions that I wouldn't have the answer for and she shouldn't ask if she actually thought about it ahead of time. She was okay with that apparently - ice skating was on tv. Friday morning, however, there was a long email in my box from mommy dearest. "Hi honey, what classes are you taking this summer? How are you paying for it? Do you like your professors? What magnificent books will you be reading? yadda, yadda, yadda".

Hi, mom? It was an information gathering session. I have not registered for classes. I have not been enrolled in the school. I've not even filled out the application yet! It was for information only. That would mean I don't know what classes I'm taking - likely in the fall, not summer. You shouldn't care how I'm paying for it since you cut me off financially when I came out of the closet. Any college successes I have are completely mine and not yours because I PAID FOR IT! How the hell would I know anything about my professors?! UGH!

She called my phone Saturday while I was at work and I didn't answer. I've told her repeatedly not to call me when at work. She called again Sunday and left a message, crying, because she misses me so much. Yesterday she called me at work again. I still didn't answer because nothing changes in the course of a weekend regarding work rules. Within minutes my cell phone was ringing once again. This time, it was dad. I had to go ahead and answer it because it's natural to assume that if both parents are trying to reach you that close together surely something is wrong. No, he was trying to chew me out for not answering the phone when my mom called. I cut him off, said I'm at work and he was trying to continue - so I hung up my phone. Two minutes later it's my phone again, back to mom. I completely turned off the phone. What choice do I have? I listened to voice mail on my way home and mom left several messages, all still crying, how much she misses me, that I need to move back to Ohio (in HELL!), that it's not right for me to go so long without calling (wasn't it just Thursday?!) and that I need to call if things are not okay and that I need to call even if things are okay. What... the... fuck... ever!

I'm half tempted NOT to call just because I know she'd see my call as a little victory. She's a true right-winger - you get one small victory you think you're entitled to a much larger pain inflicting victory. Not if I can help it. I'm fortunate to have a mother that cares but damn, stop the smothering!

(1 wire hanger | Mommy Dearest)

my main mom issue [21 Feb 2006|02:14am]

[ mood | distressed ]

I feel invisible today. When I was little I used to think I was retarded. When I was in high school I just thought I was dumb. Sigmund insists I still don't accept my aptitude and potential. It doesn't matter when I'm not even here.

It's not me, it's YOU. You make me feel like a ghost girl.

I used to watch my mommy, she was so pretty, and I was waiting to be picked up and have my hair brushed and braided - the little ghost girl that no one noticed with ratty hair and a dirty face. I could scratch my face into ribbons and people would look away and I'd still be invisible - it wouldn't matter.

I accidentally took a double dose of Topamax yesterday and maybe it's affecting me today. Maybe Fuckass fucking ex-boyfriend is right and I'm just an attention whore. Maybe I really am invisible, or retarded, or psychotic, or dead. Who the fuck am I to expect validation of my existence?

Crossposted in my main journal earlier today, but I decided it was more appropriate here. I'm not as depressed anymore, but sometimes that feeling gets so bad I can't tell if I'm real anymore. The emotional neglect was so much worse than the physical abuse.

(4 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

Hello, I'm new.. [20 Feb 2006|12:24am]

So I'll try to stick to the preferred intro:

Years Dealing with Mom (age): I'm 37 now, however I quit talking to her 4 years ago.
Location: I'm in Illinois, U.S.
Are you a parent? Yes, I have a great relationship with my own daughter (age 17).
Biggest Mother Issue(s): She allowed a boyfriend of hers to physically abuse (torture, really) me and my brother for two years starting when I was 7 and brother was 9. She emotionally, and sometimes physically, neglected us throughout our childhood. She now denies most of what happened, especially the abuse. She remains cold-hearted, but expects close adult relationships from us. Since I quit speaking to her she's developed a "well fuck her too" attitude (I get to hear about it from my brother's wife). I have PTSD and am Bipolar, and Mommy Dearest comes up frequently in therapy.

I'm so glad to have found this group. Now I'm going to go back and read your stories...


(2 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

[28 Jan 2006|11:57am]

Also wanted to props our brother community, dadissues. For the OTHER major problem in your life.

(Mommy Dearest)

The Moderator Returns [28 Jan 2006|11:52am]

...With a fantastic mother story.

To be totally fair, she's been generally nonconfrontational and "easy" to get along with lately, which is rare in our oasis of constant backbiting and small but deeply hurtful personal slights.


Mum is having the gastric bypass surgery. Soon.

Reason? She "hopes it will help me to see how safe the surgery is so that I will feel comfortable getting it."

*stab stab stab*

Okay. I'm overweight. I am not THAT overweight. I even spoke to an MD about it in my frustration because the woman keeps trying to push me to have this scary fucking surgery. He did a doubletake and said, "Um... What?" He suggested more fruits and veggies, and more frequent walking.

Can we say projecting much? And here's the deal. I have no idea how she talked a surgeon into admitting her for this surgery. She's a big lady, but she's no Carnie Wilson. Scary.

(3 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

merry fucking xmas [26 Dec 2005|12:49pm]

[ mood | hungry ]

i know my mother loves quince jelly and i have been looking for it at least 3-4 years. i even went to europe iin april and looked in stores in several countries for it.
only about 3 months ago i was in a store and they randomly had some, so i bought it, anticipating that she'd be over the moon in getting some for xmas.

she called yesterday to say that although she was "glad," she really wanted a different kind--this didn't have any chunks in it. she likes the chunky kind that her sister makes, and what i "should have" done instead was ask her sister to make some and bring it back from germany for her.

what did she give me? a signed lithograph of HER favorite artist, rie munoz. i don't dislike the art, but it doesn't stir me. she can't shut up about it. so nice of her to give me something SHE wants (presumably in hopes that i would give it to her).

yeah, merry fucking christmas to you too, ma. >:(

(Mommy Dearest)

e. coli is the gift that keeps on giving [23 Dec 2005|08:11am]

[ mood | blah ]

uhhh... thanks, mom, but this would have been helpful information THREE DAYS AGO when I emailed to let you know I had just received the package:

"please keep the larger package out on your deck or in the fridge till christmas, to avoid spoilage."

It's been sitting under the tree with it's many lights in our dry, 80-degree apartment. I anticipate premeditated food poisioning. :/

(1 wire hanger | Mommy Dearest)

serious mom issues here [05 Dec 2005|10:03pm]

[ mood | angry ]

cut for the minimal semblance of privacyCollapse )

I can't believe she hasn't died yet. I want her to die.

(1 wire hanger | Mommy Dearest)

Pre-Thanksagiving Rant [21 Nov 2005|09:30am]

[ mood | dreading ]

ugh, so despite the fact that I'm trying to excite myself with the idea that I will be visiting vongroovy, I can't help the fact that I will be spending the majority of my Thanksgiving weekend with my fiance's mother (aka future mother-in-law, or fMiL, for short) and his grandmother.

fMiL first: the fMiL is a good lady and we get along, in general. but she;s one of those types that has ALREADY decorated for christmas--in fact she did it over veteran's day weekend. which means that every availble square inch of the house will be coated with a thick, tacky layer of red and green. needless to say our styles clash. to put it bluntly, i have taste and she... well, doesn't. she's really into the whole thomas kinkade/ geese-with-bows-around-their-necks thing. i bite my lip and try to pretend i can't see it, but usually to no avail.

Worse, she's a bad cook. I've had Thanksgiving there the past two years in a row (because believe it or not my family... ok, i'm just not going to go ther right now).and her turkey is not only dry but BLAND. so terribly BLAND. it makes me cry. it would be so EASY to sprinkle a little olive oil, salt, pepper and maybe some herbs on it before roasting, but no, she gets the cheapest, most genetically-engineered and hormone-injected butterball she can, occasionally remembers to take the plastic off, and then just sticks it RIGHT into the oven AS-IS. if she remembers to remove the giblets, they usually get tossed.

My mother may be a horrible human being, but at least she can cook. so can I. and each year I offer to contribute one dish (like pumpkin pie from scratch, instead of store-bought, or a Greek pasta salad) which have all gotten rave reviews from the relatives. thing is: we don't TELL them that i ever contribute anything, so it's kind of embarassing when they're all oohing and aahing over what I make, and there's LOTS of leftovers from what she makes. she sits there at the table embarassed and looking at me in this angry, tight-lipped way.

then, the grandmother: she's a very sweet, energetic old lady. perhaps too energetic. her whole life revolves around this horrible, slobbering rat-beast she calls her dog, Toby. fiance' and i both HATE that dog. usually she brings it with her. this year she won't, which is arguably worse because this woman talks a mile a minute and has a mouth like a sailor. she will NOT shut up about the dog. while the rest of us eat she'll be flapping her gums about toby this toby that toby's latest bowel movement.

in general, his family is a stark contrast from mine: there's lots of 'em, for one. they actually care about each other. but they're loud, tacky, bland, bush-loving, trailer-dwelling drinkers. they have a TINY house and yet manage to squeeze SEVEN TVs into that house, so literally in EVERY room, everywhere I look there's a TV blasting away on the Fox news channel or Earnest Saves Christmas.

thank GOD I have my NaNoWriMo novel.
"Oh gee, it's three in the afternoon and i'd love to do SHOTS with you, fMiL (true story), but i have a novel to go write..."

(Mommy Dearest)

and she wonders why i don't call/write more often (and visit ever) [27 Oct 2005|07:13pm]

[ mood | pissed off ]

*le sigh*

i humbled myself to emailing the 'rental units for some work advice a week ago.
the mother emails me back 4 days ago saying they'll get back to me.
i finally get a phone call yesterday--AFTER i've already been fired. (great timing--think i could'a used that advice a while ago, perhaps??)

so, i didn't bother to tell her I'd lost the job. not that she apparently cared to hear it. i would talk for a while, then there's be this long pause before a completely disinterested response like "yeah..." honestly, it sounded like she put the phone down and only decided to answer me during obvious long pauses/tv commercials.

smooth, mom, real smooth. way to NOT make your only child feel like a total unwanted reject. apparently i'm too boring now to even bother with the physchological, manipulative guilt trips. she didn't even BOTHER to ask if i'm coming home for the holidays (which would have been a huge negatory, anyway.)


(4 wire hangers | Mommy Dearest)

[27 Oct 2005|06:45pm]

Name: Christina
Years Dealing with Mom (age): 28
Location: Texas (but she is in CA! *evil laugh*)
Are you a parent? Yes
Biggest Mother Issue(s): When she refers to me as 'daughter'... as a condescending name... it sounds more like 'dot-urrrrrr'.


Look for random posts that prove I probably need counseling later in life in order to deal with mother related things. Hi.

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