I moved to Seattle in September of last year to be with a guy that I had fallen in love with. Neither of my parents thought it was a good idea but I really didn't care. Who would be happy living less than a mile from two aging parents that have significantly different ideas on how you should be living your life? They reluctantly said goodbye to me and made me promise to stay in touch.
And I have... I'm very good about calling once or twice a week and talking for an hour. I write occasional letters and send photos of things going on in my life. Then, arrives last Thursday.
I had the day off work and used it wisely. I walked over to the University of Washington's campus to gather some information about getting enrolled in the school. On my rainy walk home I called my father and passed along the information that I had picked up. I told him I didn't want to talk to mom because she would ask a bajillion questions that I wouldn't have the answer for and she shouldn't ask if she actually thought about it ahead of time. She was okay with that apparently - ice skating was on tv. Friday morning, however, there was a long email in my box from mommy dearest. "Hi honey, what classes are you taking this summer? How are you paying for it? Do you like your professors? What magnificent books will you be reading? yadda, yadda, yadda".
Hi, mom? It was an information gathering session. I have not registered for classes. I have not been enrolled in the school. I've not even filled out the application yet! It was for information only. That would mean I don't know what classes I'm taking - likely in the fall, not summer. You shouldn't care how I'm paying for it since you cut me off financially when I came out of the closet. Any college successes I have are completely mine and not yours because I PAID FOR IT! How the hell would I know anything about my professors?! UGH!
She called my phone Saturday while I was at work and I didn't answer. I've told her repeatedly not to call me when at work. She called again Sunday and left a message, crying, because she misses me so much. Yesterday she called me at work again. I still didn't answer because nothing changes in the course of a weekend regarding work rules. Within minutes my cell phone was ringing once again. This time, it was dad. I had to go ahead and answer it because it's natural to assume that if both parents are trying to reach you that close together surely something is wrong. No, he was trying to chew me out for not answering the phone when my mom called. I cut him off, said I'm at work and he was trying to continue - so I hung up my phone. Two minutes later it's my phone again, back to mom. I completely turned off the phone. What choice do I have? I listened to voice mail on my way home and mom left several messages, all still crying, how much she misses me, that I need to move back to Ohio (in HELL!), that it's not right for me to go so long without calling (wasn't it just Thursday?!) and that I need to call if things are not okay and that I need to call even if things are okay. What... the... fuck... ever!
I'm half tempted NOT to call just because I know she'd see my call as a little victory. She's a true right-winger - you get one small victory you think you're entitled to a much larger pain inflicting victory. Not if I can help it. I'm fortunate to have a mother that cares but damn, stop the smothering!